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The Fuck Buddy vs. The Friend With Benefits

May 12, 2010

As I’ve often said, relationships can be awesome, supportive, and full of love and personal growth.

Yeah, that does sound pretty gay.

Let’s face it, sometimes you just don’t want to be in a relationship. I, for example, do not have the time or energy to nurture anything significant. I work a high stress, full-(usually over) time job, go to school, and I have various other projects and interests that I’m developing. My spare time is spent in purely selfish pursuits, and it’s awesome. However, it’s important to remember one thing:

Single does not mean sexless.

Oh my god, did I just blow your mind?

Forget what you’re mothers have told you, ladies. It is quite possible and totally healthy to have sex and not be in love. While there’s always the good ol’ one night stand to satisfy your lusting, there are other slightly more long-term options for relationship-null sex.

The Fuck Buddy

First of all, let me simply say that in my humble and skewed opinion, fuck buddies are magical.

A fuck buddy can be a casual acquaintance through a friend, family member, work, school, etc. It’s someone who you know well enough that you can trust they wont’ be riddled in STDs but aren’t particularly close to. They usually have some flaw which prevents further developing a relationship, such as being ugly with the lights on, socially retarded, weird and foreign instead of exotic, or is just an asshole. Or you both simply aren’t looking for anything special.

Sex is usually mutually understood to mean nothing beyond that. Any interactions are almost guaranteed to end with bumping uglies. A fuck buddy is a good person to experiment with, as their opinion doesn’t really matter.

The Friend With Benefits

This is altogether a much more stickier situation and way less simple than the fuck buddy. A friend with benefits is usually someone, obviously, who you have an established friendship with. There’s a previous history of caring and concern, but there’s something preventing a full blown relationship between the two of you. It’s a lot more difficult to keep sex simple and emotion-free and it requires a lot more self awareness and control to maintain successfully.

A friend with benefits is a risky endeavor as it has the potential to end friendships altogether and sets the foundation for heartbreak if things start to get out of hand. Undertake with caution.

Just remember that whatever type of relationship you choose to pursue, be it coupled or non-committed, to always be safe and use protection (and keep in mind, the pill does not prevent STDs). Be honest with yourself and your partner, and enjoy yourself!

What’s your opinion on no-strings-attached sex?

Go forth and hate (while gettin’ busy).

Related The Hating Expert links:
Safe Sexy Time Part One: Barrier Methods

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. LOLOL permalink
    August 6, 2010 12:22 am

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLoLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOL

  2. September 11, 2010 10:17 pm

    i’m just single for the first time since i was 15 years old and i’m excited to reinforce the “single doesn’t mean sexless” paradigm. Bring on the loving, caring, and no i won’t date you sex!

  3. January 22, 2011 11:25 pm

    Why do I have to choose? I’ve had both at the same time – a fuck buddy to plow my way through, and a friend with benefits who I will have amazing sex with, followed by playing video games and Chinese food afterward.

  4. lolaangelina permalink
    January 27, 2011 9:06 pm

    i never want to do that again, no strings attached backfires, plus i’m very picky who i have sex with, great articles though.

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