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Deal Breakers (Part Duex)

March 15, 2010

This post is a continuation of Deal Breakers

Really, I think I just need to up my standards regarding the quality of people I spend my time with. But the shenanigans are never ending, so here is part two for behaviors that are just not okay EVER when trying to attract yourself a honey.

Wear A Costume

Yes, we get it, you’re an English teacher and proud, but do you really need to dress the part 24/7? With a tweed jacket and vest? I appreciate theatrics, but c’mon, we’re at a Hooters. I really don’t think you’re going to find your next love here.

Unless, of course, you leave a really big tip. But you can’t. Because you’re an English teacher.

I’m also aware that this is another tactic encouraged by The Game as a way to attract the attentions of the ladies. But really, we’re just laughing at you and thinking you’re weird, so quit.

Cry

Yes, men have a right to express their emotions just as much as women do, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear them. Honestly, if I was to start pouring my heart and soul out to you within the first 15 minutes of meeting you, it’d be weird. It’s even worse when waterworks get involved. I want to meet someone I can have a relationship with, not someone I feel the need to babysit.

Bring Up Your Ex

Really, this is a behavior that goes right along with discussing your sexual history right off the bat. What I really, really, really don’t want to hear is how she’s the only person you’ve ever really loved and letting her go was the biggest mistake of your life. That’s like applying for a job and telling the guy interviewing you’d still rather be employed at your old workplace. Not only is it unprofessional (both in work and the dating arena), it’s downright rude. Please, shut up, buy me a drink, and tell me I’m pretty. Actually, just buy me a drink and fucking leave.

Be Insulting

I have watched so many men, both acquaintances and strangers, try to be insulting to get into a woman’s vagina. Ideally, being an asshole is a way to get a woman to strike up a conversation with you; she has to defend her views, and somehow during that process she’ll see what a great guy you really are. I don’t know who told men that, (oh wait, yes I do: The Game) but there could be nothing further from the truth. As soon as someone tells me that my taste in music sucks, I immediately file them under ‘prick‘. Continuing to berate me isn’t going to get me to jump on your dick, it’s going to make me want to punch you in the nuts.

Go forth and hate.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 21, 2010 11:03 pm

    The subject is fully clear but why does the text lack clarity? But in general your blog is great.

  2. March 25, 2010 6:01 pm

    Ahaha the game sucks. There’s a difference between being artfully unobtainable (delicious) and a witless cunt because some douchey little man is your guru and that’s what he told you to do.

    • March 26, 2010 5:04 pm

      I have a male friend who absolutely swears by The Game. He’s been single for years now.

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