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No Cupid, That’s Not Ok

March 4, 2010

Recently, a friend of mine suggested that I try signing up for an online dating service. She had the good fortune to meet a wonderful man through it, and was hopeful that same would happen for me. After about a week though, I gave up hope. The messages I was receiving…let’s just say, some of these men are single for a reason.

Now, because I am mean spirited and full of hate (and find these to be funny for all the wrong reasons), I’ve decided to share some of the gems of with you.

Subject: Pokemon

I’ve got a couple level 100 pokemon…used to have a level 100 Dragonite and Gengar but not anymore, sold my copy of Pokemon Diamond like a retard. So you want to knock boots or what. Holler back

– Danny

And then, when I didn’t respond, Danny also sent me:

I also have quite the extensive collection of animes. Perhaps you could come over sometime and scrub my feet while we watch Syukoasho Bunny Heart 7 and talk about our favorite mangas.

Toodles,
Danny

No. No. No. No, on so many levels no.

Subject: (No Subject)

How do you feel about candle lit dinners at fast food restaurants?

Well sir, how do you feel about dieing alone?

Subject: (No Subject)

LOL HEY BABY LET’S FUCK YAYEAH.

I bet that’s what you say to your hand every night before crying yourself to sleep.

I’m sure there’s more to come.

Go forth and hate.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 5, 2010 2:18 pm

    I think you should just post this under the ‘you should message me if’ section and write beneath it, “If you write my something stupid, you will end up on the internet with everyone laughing at you. Not with, at.”

  2. March 5, 2010 4:36 pm

    I fear that that would only encourage them.

    Seriously, these are the first impressions these men choose to send out?!

  3. March 15, 2010 6:58 pm

    Ever considered the possibility that such idiotic posts are merely windups?

  4. Ammy permalink
    March 29, 2010 2:34 am

    Please tell me you read Datewrecks? 🙂 http://datewrecks.com/

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