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Safe Sexy Time Part One: Barrier Methods

March 1, 2010

Whether you like to admit it or not, sex is a huge part of social interaction. It’s both wonderful, frustrating, and frightening at the same time. With today’s mass communication, it’s almost impossible not to know about the risks involved in being sexually active. And yet, there are still young men and women who literally have no idea what to expect.

First of all darlings, let’s make a very important distinction: there is a difference between birth control and contraception.

Birth control: anything done to prevent giving birth.

Contraception: any device/method that keeps sperm from penetrating an egg.

And hopefully, by the end of this series, you’ll be more aware of both.

This first installment will discuss the most well known form of safe sex practice: condoms. But before this blog begins in earnest, let me address some conceptions regarding the use of condoms:

-Ladies, I can say from first hand experience, I can honestly not tell the difference between riding bare back (God, have I made some stupid choices. I was lucky that I didn’t catch anything) and being safe and using a condom. Unless you have an inhumanly super sensitive vag, don’t worry about it.

-Fellas, yes, using a condom increases the chance of dampening sensation. But think about it: decreased sensitivity equals a longer performance. WHERE IS THE DOWNSIDE?

-Buying a condom does not make you whore. It makes you a responsible individual who is exploring their sexuality. If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re an ass. “You put that condom in your purse and save your own fucking life.” -Lady GaGa

Male Condoms

There are three types of male condoms: latex, polyurethane, and natural membrane. Latex and polyurethane (an alternative for latex for those who either have an allergy or simply don’t like latex) condoms completely protect against seminal transmission of STDs. Natural membrane condoms (usually made with sheep intestine) interfere less with sensitivity but have pores which allow for smaller microorganisms (such as viruses) to pass from partner-to-partner.

Circumcised and uncircumcised men have to dress up their John Thomas differently. An intact man needs to be sure to role his foreskin back before applying the condom. Also, if the condom lacks a reservoir feature, a man needs to be sure to pinch and twist the tip of the condom while putting it on to create a space for the semen to go after ejaculation.

The use of lubrication decreases the chances of the condom tearing during sexy time. Remember though, never use an oil based lubricant with a latex condom: the oil will erode the latex. Instead, use a water based lubricant.


Some condoms come with spermicide already included, while others don’t. Spermicide can be purchased separately. Ladies, remember to do a skin test with spermicide first to check for allergies. Apply a small amount to your wrist and wait a few minutes; if it begins to blister, welt, or burn DO NOT use it. Do you really want a chemical burn in your vagina?

I’ve heard rumors (none of which have been confirmed by studies) that lemon juice does the exact same job as spermicide, but think about it, do you really want to put lemon juice anywhere near your naughty fun bits?

Female Condoms

A female condom is exactly what it sounds like: a condom for the ladies. Instead of going externally on the penis, the female condom is placed internally in a woman’s vaginal canal with the use of an applicator. It can also work to prevent STDs and pregnancy through seminal contact. The only complaint I’ve ever heard regarding the use of a female condom is its tendency to make a squelching noise during the throws of passion. But just turn up the music or the T.V.!

Never, ever be afraid to insist upon using safe sexual practices.

Go forth and hate.

P.s. Don’t forget to check out part two: cervical barrier methods!

Reference: Our Sexuality by Robert Crooks and Karla Baur, 10th edition.

Links of Interest:
World Health Organization
Planned Parenthood

Related The Hating Expert posts:
Safe Sexy Time Part Two: Cervical Barrier Methods
The Virgin Issue Part One: The Mythical Hymen

12 Comments leave one →
  1. Ariel permalink
    March 2, 2010 1:54 pm

    hehe I was readin about nuvaring on planned parenthood a few hours ago! Great minds…

    • March 2, 2010 9:29 pm

      Coming soon…and I thought you didn’t like hormonal birth control?!

      • Ariel permalink
        March 3, 2010 10:55 am

        Yeah I am…I wish they’d hurry up and create a male form of birth control! I wasn’t quite sure how it operated, was researching nuvaring and I must’ve received waves of energy from your brain yesterday mornin!

      • March 3, 2010 1:08 pm

        Haha damn girl! Stop giving away future blogs.

        But really, the biggest problem with male birth control so far is that sperm production is linked so tightly to testosterone levels. To decrease the number of boys a man’s firing, so far researchers have had to lower his manly hormones.

        But their making some really amazing breakthroughs!

  2. unique_stephen permalink
    June 23, 2010 5:53 pm

    Condoms don’t just increase the _chance_ of dampening sensation…..
    They do dampen sensation, quite a lot in fact.
    To the point it can be difficult to maintain an erection.

    I Personally can go long enough I’ll rub a lady raw – most guys I know can. Longer sex is not necessarily better sex. Condoms also change the way an uncircumcised cock moves, the ‘lubrication’ of the loose skin – the way the shaft of the cock moves inside the skin and the skin wraps and unwraps. Condoms hold the skin tighter and don’t allow it to ‘unwrap’ in quite the same way.

    Not saying not to use them – just don’t undersell the cost to male pleasure and make an effort to play to his other erogenous zones – tickle and pull on his balls, his anus. Take advantage of the make visual focus – make sure he can see you, see you’re genitals wide open for him, see your breasts bouncing when you ride him etc. Use lots of oral on him. Titty fuck him on occasion – no condom needed for that.

    I’ve also found that the sensation of anal is not diminished so much as vagina sex – the tighter ring of the sphincter compared to the all over squeeze of the vagina make for a much more interesting feeling through a condom.

    Sex with is still better than no sex which is pretty much the only other option.


  1. The Virgin Issue Part One: The Mythical Hymen « The Hating Expert
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  3. I Will Get You Laid « The Hating Expert
  4. Pharmacies Continue To Deny Women Birth Control « The Hating Expert
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  6. The Virgin Issue Part Two: Purity Balls « The Hating Expert
  7. Safe Sexy Time Part Two: Cervical Barrier Methods « The Hating Expert

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