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What To Do When The Boy Has Moved On (And You Haven’t)

January 27, 2010

So, your dirty ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else. And it’s just absolutely crushing your soul. First things first though: why do you even know this? Do not forget step two. I’ll admit that I vaguely now what my ex is up to, but only the bad things. And only because they make me laugh.

It can be hard, but with a little help, this too shall pass.

The New Girl

The biggest problem with the new girlfriend (that bitch!) is that nobody likes to feel like they’ve been replaced. We’re all unique little butterflies, right? What does she have that you didn’t? Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to figure this one out. I already like you more than her because you’re reading this and she’s not. More importantly, DO NOT STALK. Don’t seek her out on Facebook Myspace, Twitter, or whatever else it is you crazy kids are using these days. If you need to, block her. Whatever keeps you from comparing yourself to her, do it.

As difficult as it can be, it’s important to remember that life keeps going. You’ll replace your ex with Boy 2.0 soon. And, unfortunately, in the future you will probably replace that one too.

Get Your Ass Back Out There

There is nothing worse than sitting at home wallowing in your own misery. You need to do things which take your mind off of your old flame, including seeing new guys. Don’t leap right back into something, but maybe accept that date offer from somebody who you normally wouldn’t. At the very least, you can probably get a free meal out of it. Or, try asking somebody out. It doesn’t have to be anything big (even just going on a stroll with someone can be fun), just something to get you out of the house.

Mix It Up

Change your routine or do something you’ve been putting off for a really long time. Always wanted to try painting? Run down to Micheal’s and get yourself some canvas and acrylics. Now is a great time to start focusing on yourself and your goals. Make a list of ideas and try to accomplish one a week. Try doing something out of the ordinary as well. Not normally into the party scene?  Try it. (Or fashion, poetry, community service, whatever. Personally, I just like to party.) Find someone to go with and just talk to new people. There’s nothing like a heart wrenching event as an excuse to do some personal re-invention.

Get Help

If it’s been more than three months since your break up and your still having a lot of trouble, it might be time to seek out some professional help. There is absolutely no shame in this. This is someone who you cared a lot about, and having them out of your life is a big adjustment. If your split so happened to coincide with other big changes, this can multiply the emotional stress level. A therapist or counselor can help you break down things into something that’s easier to manage. Friends can be life savers, but sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who really and truly is removed from the situation.

Go forth and hate (just don’t mope!)

Related The Hating Expert Posts:
Single And Rocking It
You’re Just Not That Into Him

How To Get Over The Boy-THE RIGHT WAY

5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 9, 2010 7:38 am

    Awesome post 🙂 I like your style!

  2. Ammy permalink
    March 29, 2010 2:37 am

    This was really encouraging- without all the fake happy junk people usually try to throw in. Thank you!

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