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January 13, 2010

The times, they are a-changin’. And my friends, they are getting downright kinky.

The Victorians considered men who wanted blow jobs to be mentally disturbed. When Alfred Kinsey started his groundbreaking research on human sexual behavior, oral sex was categorized as uncommon. Now though, humping the laugh hole is pretty standard practice.

But before putting your sex partner’s naughty bits in your mouth, ask yourself, “Am I comfortable with oral sex?”

If you don’t want his dick in your mouth, then you don’t have to put it there. Remember, you are in charge of your body and its actions. If you’re feeling anxious at all, then do what is right for yourself. If he doesn’t understand that, then he can go fuck himself.

If a blow job is an act you want to perform, then here are some things you can do to take the edge off:


This can range from talking to friends who are fairly candid about their sex lives, to reading books, to internet searches. Knowing (or having a vague idea) of what you’re doing can make a world of difference.

And FYI, never, EVER use porn as a point of reference. These girls will almost always leave you with unrealistic expectations. Stick to sources that don’t have daddy issues and/or drug addictions.


Not only are you not a mind reader, but you are god damn busy. Let him know that it’s o.k. for him to tell you what he wants. After this, if he chooses to keep his silence, it’s his problem, not yours. Men know their penises, and even more, they know what their penises like.

The Finale

Ladies, plan this out in advance either before or during. Do not wait until the last second. You can discuss with your partner the options (spit, swallow, shoot, etc.) that you are most comfortable with. Keep in mind that if it concerns your body, it’s your choice. If he purposely cums in your mouth after you told him not to, you spit that shit right back on him.

And remember, for any males reading, to RETURN THE FUCKING FAVOR.

Go forth and hate (safely and responsibly).

Related The Hating Expert posts:
The Virgin Issue Part One: The Mythical Hymen
Safe Sexy Time Part One: Barrier Methods

3 Comments leave one →
  1. anon permalink
    July 7, 2010 4:01 pm

    “you spit that shit right back on him” well said and i agree wholeheartedly


  1. The Virgin Issue Part One: The Mythical Hymen « The Hating Expert
  2. Safe Sexy Time Part One: Barrier Methods « The Hating Expert

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